


Shadows of sorrow

by Shiplover_24



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU from S2 Ep7 onwards, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:14:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10528740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiplover_24/pseuds/Shiplover_24
Summary: Just a splash of Jalec that I felt the world needed right now.





	

Alec slumped against the wall of his bedroom at the institute, one hand gripping at his hair, the other clutching a bottle of some alcohol he couldn’t remember the name of. He raised the half empty bottle to his lips, cringing at the taste but swallowing it anyway, trying and failing to stop his hands from trembling with emotion.

His lips quivered as he tried to forget what had driven him to this in the first place, into holing up in his room in the middle of the night drinking, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t forget because the thoughts were constantly there, in every thought, every dream, even in a part of him, for years.

How could he forget Jace, his Parabatai, the one person who made him whole and broke him all at the same time? And wasn’t that just his problem; Jace. Always Jace. He let out a humourless chuckle into the empty room and laid his head against the wall. He thought that he’d sorted it, that he could put his feelings in a box and ignore them now that he had Magnus, but Jace; something about him just refused to be locked away, and the thoughts of him just kept coming back, again and again. 

A tendril of guilt crept up on him as he thought about Magnus, and while he did like the warlock, he knew he couldn’t ever love him the way he loved Jace, he could never compare to his Parabatai, Magnus had only ever been a distraction. He’d thought that if he was with someone else then his feelings for Jace would go away, but he was wrong. He felt helpless tears stream down his face as he remembered what had happened earlier that night.

He’d tried to take his relationship with Magnus to the next level, stupidly thinking that if he had sex with Magnus then he would feel for him what he felt for Jace, but he just couldn’t. They had barely started undressing but all Alec had wanted, all he could see was Jace. He hadn’t been able breathe. He’d shoved Magnus away and ran out the door, ignoring the confused, slightly hurt calls from behind him.

Alec was shaken from his memories when he realised that the bottle he held in his hand was now empty. He stared at in for a moment before hurling it across the room and watching it smash on the wall, a shower of glass falling in a blast of noise. He winced and quickly silenced his room with a rune on the wall, praying that no one had heard and decided to come and investigate. He held his breath for a minute, but when nothing happened he slumped back down with a sigh.

With no alcohol to distract himself with anymore, he felt the all too familiar emotions bubbling to the surface, and heaved himself onto his bed before collapsing onto the sheets in a fit of sobs, curling in on himself, and all the pain that he had tried to keep hidden away in his little Shadowhunter mind box burst out, hitting him like a punch in the gut.

Images and feelings flashed behind his clenched eyelids: the first time he met Jace all those years ago in the training room, his pain and anguish the on morning of his Parabatai ceremony because he knew they’d be forbidden to love each other the way he knew he always would, the heartbreak when his brother met Clary and started rebelling against the institute and the clave, the panic when the memory demon showed the memory of Jace, threatening his secret in the process, the stomach churning sickness when he realised that Jace had betrayed him and given the mortal cup to Clary, the twisted satisfaction he got from hearing that Clary was really Jace’s sister, the never ending terror when his brother fell into the hands of Valentine, the constant numbness he felt when Jace had been imprisoned in the City of Bones. 

Alec's head swam with dizziness and exhaustion just thinking about all that had happened. 

His tears fell at a slower pace now, his breathing calming somewhat until it resembled something normal. His head pounded, and as he felt the clutches of sleep grasping at him, he didn’t register the familiar hands that soothed uncharacteristically gentle circles on his back, nor did he remember the way that those hands had surrounded him only minutes ago, helping to calm him when no one else could have.

The concerned face of his memories frowned down at him as he fell into an uneasy sleep, and Jace clenched his fists in anger, determined to get Alec to tell him exactly what was going on in the morning, vowing to kill whoever had dared hurt his Parabatai in the most painful way possible. His heart clenched painfully at the reminder of finding Alec sobbing alone that night, and tightening his hold on the boy in his arms for a brief second, Jace lay Alec on the bed before leaving, determined to get his answers one way or another; Alec completely unaware of the events that had just been set in motion.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is only my third published fanfiction ever, so I'd really appreciate any comments you guys have, or any thoughts or opinions you might have about whether or not I should make another chapter xxx  
> P.S. Sorry for the short chapter :(


End file.
